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Paul's Humor Page

Yuppers, here it is - some of my humor - some of it requires some knowlege of math, the sciences, etc.

Contributions are always welcome (please, no jokes from the lists).

I've included some links to other humor pages - some of them are rated 'PG'.

Note: No attempt has been made to achieve 'Political Correctness' which in itself is a joke.


The Mandatory Blond Joke:

Q: How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None - All she has to do is wink at some guy and he does it for her.


Indian Lore:

The Legend of Falling Rock

Way back, many, many moons ago there was an Indian tribe that lived in the mountains. One of the members of that tribe was named 'Falling Rock'.

One day, Falling Rock went out into the woods to forrage for nuts and berries; he was gone all day. In fact when sun-down came he had still not returned. Sun-up came and he had still not returned.

When, after a couple of days, Falling Rock had still not returned, the Chief called a Tribal Council meeting. It was decided to send all the braves out into the woods to search for Falling Rock.

The braves searched high and low (you can do that in the mountains). Alas, they found no trace of Falling Rock... but to this day, whenever you drive through the mountains, you can still see the signs they left behind, that say "Watch For Falling Rock".

Getting Wired

There was an Indian tribe living in Oklahoma. One day a crew from an oil company showed up and ran a bunch of tests and declared "There's oil here!"

So the oil company drilled and sure enough, they struck oil. The Indian tribe was RICH!

Now, the tribe had a problem. What should they do with all of this money. They didn't want to significantly disrupt their simple, unhurried life style.

The tribal elders got together an decided that it might be a good idea to send one of the young men in the tribe to college. The held an achedemic contest to pick who would go to school.

One young man was selected and was sent to MIT, where he earned a degree in electrical engineering. When he retured to the tribe, there was nothing for him to do. The tribe didn't even have electricity! For weeks he just moped around the village getting more and more bored.

The tribal elders saw this and again got together. This time to figure out what to do about this young man. After many hours of discussion they made a decision. They called the young man into the meeting and told him, "As you know, we are getting old and our night vision is not what it was when we were young. It would really be nice if we could see where we are going when we have to get up during the night and go to the outhouse."

The next morning, the young man got into the truck and drove into town. He came back with a generator, wire, light sockets and light bulbs. He put up poles, strung the wires, hooked up the light sockets and the generator and screwed in the bulbs.

Just after sundown, he started the generator and turned on the switch. It was beautiful; the path to the outhouse was lit up - almost like daytime.

Now would you believe, that was the first time anyone ever wired a head for a reservation.

Maternity Ward

There were three pregnant Indian women.

All three of them had their babies on the same day.

All three of them had their babies while lying on animal skins.

The first one had a boy while lying on a deer skin.

The second one also had a boy while lying on a bear skin.

The third one surprized everyone, including herself, by having twin boys while lying on a hippopotamus skin.

Which proves:
The sons of the squaw on the hippopotamus are equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.


Techie Stuff:

This one's for the birds:

A flock of birds were sitting on the driven element of a tribander. Between them is a coil. One bird says to the others, "Be careful, I think it's a trap".

Spacey

You've heard the one about the space shuttle? No? It's just as well, it's probably over your head.


A Fairy Tale:

Once apon a time there was a king who had three daughters. One of them was kind of sexy. The second was even sexier and the third (WOW) was the sexiest.

Like most kings, he had a kingdom, complete with peasants and serfs and a dragon. WAIT, did I say a DRAGON? Yup, a real honest-to-goodness fire-breathing, maiden-devouring dragon.

Well, the peasants and serfs were not too real pleased with this dragon. He kept doing dragonly things like setting their huts on fire, eating their maidens and just making a general nuisence of himself.

So the peasants and serfs did what peasants and serfs usually do in a situation like this and started marching on the palace. The king's advisors heard of this and ran to tell him, "The peasants are revolting!!"

"I know," said the king, "peasants are revolting."

The king's advisors then explained the problem with the dragon. The king then did what any other king would do. Yup, he sent out a proclaimation stating, "Any knight who were to come to the kindom and slay the dragon, would receive his choice of: the sexy daughter, the even sexier daughter or the (WOW) sexiest daughter."

Many knights came and tried but all were killed by the dragon. Finally one knight showed up. He was a little strange (pink armor?) but the king let him have a go at the dragon.

A couple of days later, here comes the knight, carrying the dragon's head. So the king told him, "Well, you've upheld your end of the bargain, so I must uphold mine and you may have your choice."

And - do you know which one he picked? Yup, he picked the king. Remember, this is a fairy story.


Links:

Links to Humor Pages

Doug Austin's
Smile Network

Joke Lists

GodsHome JokesList

Becky's Joke List

To add yourself to a jokelist, click on the list name
and place the word SUBSCRIBE in the message.

If you have a Humor page or joke list and would like to see it listed here,
send me the URL and a GIF or JPEG of your logo.


Send me your comments Go back to "Paul's Place"

© 1997 Paul Graham